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About Semey

Whitney, dude, she’s the ultimate diva – voice like an angel, but offstage? Total trainwreck! Makes me wanna yell, “Eat my shorts!” at the paparazzi houndin’ her. Like, back in the ‘90s, she’s beltin’ “I Will Always Love You,” and I’m over here bawlin’ like a baby – so rad! But then, bam, she’s hooked up with Bobby Brown, and I’m like, “D’oh! What’s this crap?” That dude was trouble, man, got her all twisted up – pissed me off big time!

Who was Taras Shevchenko?

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First off, I hit up the local market on Abai Street. You know, the one where they sell everything from fresh fish to weird-looking fruits? I’m there, trying to grab some kazy (that horse meat sausage, yum!) when I bump into my buddy, Aslan. He’s all hyped about some fishing trip he’s planning. I’m like, “Dude, you know I can’t fish, right?” But he insists I join. I’m thinking, “Why not? Could be fun.” Spoiler alert: it wasn’t.

Ukraine bank chief warns over ‘destructive influence’ of oligarchs