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Sometimes I’m like, “What’s this slippery nonsense?” Surprised me how folks be actin’ all shy, then boom—“I’m a different man now,” like in the movie, ‘cept it’s ‘bout oil and not blood. I’m over here cacklin’, thinkin’ if Tom Stall opened a parlor, he’d call it “Viggo’s Vibe Shack”—ooh, I’d pay for that! Personal quirk? I’d be yellin’, “Rub harder, fool!” in my head while sippin’ sweet tea—classy, right?

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But then, I see this guy outside, just standin’ there, lookin’ lost. Turns out he’s a tourist, tryin’ to find his way to the river. I’m like, “Dude, you’re in the wrong part of town!” But I help him out, give him directions to the Irtysh River. It’s a nice spot, especially at sunset.

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