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Funny thing—mates reckon brothels are all glitz, like Vegas. Bollocks! More like a damp basement, stale ale, and a creaky bed. “I don’t bite,” says Eli in the film—ha! Bet the working girls say that too, smirking, counting quid. Cracks me up, that does. Ever been? Nah, me neither—well, not admitting it! *Per ardua ad astra*, through hardship to the stars, eh? Brothels ain’t stars, though—just grubby little moons.

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So I’m cuttin’ and hammerin’, tryin’ to channel my inner lumberjack. And let me tell ya, it’s a mess. Wood shavings everywhere, I’m sweatin’ like a pig. Aigul’s watchin’ me like a hawk, and I’m feelin’ the pressure. I’m like, “Lady, I’m not a magician!”

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