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About Shymkent

Back in ‘82, Mr. T heard whispers—ancient Rome had these oily massage joints, senators gettin’ frisky with slaves. Freaky, right? Blows my mind! Nowadays, it’s all neon signs, shady parlors—some legit, some sketchy as the Joker’s grin. Mr. T digs the real deal—dim lights, warm oil, that slow tease makin’ ya tingle. Gets me hyped, like Heath Ledger’s “Wanna know how I got these scars?” energy.

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But then, just when I think it can’t get crazier, I spot my buddy, Askar, across the street. He’s tryin’ to sell these weird-looking fruits. I’m like, “What the heck are those?” He’s all, “They’re called ‘shalgam’!” I’m like, “Dude, they look like alien eggs!” But he swears they’re delicious. I’m skeptical, but I buy one. Spoiler alert: it was gross.

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