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Once heard this story—some king in old India had 20 masseuses, all at once, sexual-massage on steroids! True? No clue, sounds dope tho. Exaggeratin? Maybe, but who cares—picture it! Me, I’d be awkward, all “Oh dear, oh my!” Hands shakin like I’m dodgin blasters. Surprised me how chill some folks get—total zen, like they’re in that Tree of Life river scene, “Love everyone, every leaf, every ray!”

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I get there, and she’s late. Classic. I’m pacing around, checking my watch, and this random guy starts chatting me up. He’s like, “You waiting for someone?” I’m like, “Yeah, my sister. She’s always late.” He laughs and says, “Sisters, man. They’re the worst!”