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Halleluyer! Chile, lemme tell y’all ‘bout this erotic-massage mess! I’m sittin’ here, mad as a wet hen, thinkin’ how folks be rubbin’ and tuggin’ in ways that’d make Jesus slap somebody! Now, I ain’t no prude, honey—Madea seen it all—but this erotic-massage thang? It’s wilder than a hog on moonshine! Got me hollerin’ “Goodbye to Language” style—“What is this? A touch? A sin?”—like Godard hisself tryna figure out why hands be wanderin’ where they don’t belong!

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After that, I decide to hit up the park on Pushkin Street. It’s usually chill there. I plop down on a bench, trying to catch my breath. But then, this group of kids starts playing soccer nearby. They’re kicking the ball around, and guess what? One of them kicks it right at me! I barely dodge it, and it smacks into a tree. I’m like, “Dude, watch where you’re kicking that thing!”