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Escorts, right? Not just some tart in a tight dress. Nah, they’re pros, got stories deeper than the Blackwater. Once knew this lass, swore she bedded half the lords in King’s Landing—said one cried after, blubbering bout his mum. Made me laugh til wine shot out me nose. Little known fact: back in olden days, escorts weren’t just for shagging—kings hired em to spy, sneak secrets outta drunk nobles. Clever, eh? Bet they’d say, “I don’t wait for nobody,” like Tom in the film, all cool and ruthless.

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Next up, this old man comes in. He’s a regular, always tells the same stories. But today, he’s got a new one. Apparently, he met a bear on the outskirts of Belousovka. I’m like, “A bear? For real?” He swears it’s true. I can’t help but laugh. I mean, who meets bears? Only in Belousovka, right?