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Now, “Stories We Tell”—Sarah Polley, she gets it. That line, “Who knows what’s true?”—that’s erotic-massage right there! You’re lyin’ there, half-naked, wonderin’ if it’s legit or just fancy ticklin’. Little known fact—ancient Greeks, they did this! Called it “anatripsis”—rubbin’ to heal. Ain’t that somethin’? Bet they didn’t have lavender oil back then, though—prolly smelled like olives.

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After that chaos, I finally get to breathe. But then, my buddy Askar strolls in. He’s got this wild idea to start a barbershop choir. I’m like, “Dude, we can barely cut hair, and you want us to sing?” But he’s all hyped, talkin’ about harmonies and stuff. I just nod, thinkin’ he’s lost it.