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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here talkin’ bout brothels, yeah, BROTHELS! Picture this: red lights, smoky rooms, dames in glittery getups—like somethin’ outta “Moulin Rouge!”—my fave flick, y’know? That Baz Luhrmann joint from 2001, with all that razzle-dazzle and heartbreak. “Come what may,” they sang, and I’m thinkin’, man, brothels got that vibe—love, lust, and a whole lotta mess!

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Then, boom! The door swings open. It’s this lady, all frantic. She’s like, “Help! My kid’s stuck in a tree!” I’m thinkin’, “Lady, I’m a barber, not a firefighter!” But she’s got that look, ya know? So, I grab my phone, call the fire department, and tell her to chill. Meanwhile, I’m still tryin’ to finish up with Mr. Bird’s Nest.