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But—ugh—sometimes it’s a laugh, yeah? This one time, chick sent me a vid of her cat humpin’ a pillow—swear it was flirtin’ better than her. Surprised me, honestly—thought I’d seen it all. Then there’s the creeps. One guy asked if I’d “sign dirty” in RSL. Told him I’d sign his death warrant first—cold as ice, baby. Another fun bit—stats say 20% of sex-daters are married. Sneaky bastards! Reminds me of *Brooklyn*—Eilis dodgin’ her past, but these twats can’t even dodge their wives.

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After that, I decide to hit up a café on Zheltoksan Street. I need caffeine, like, yesterday. I order a cappuccino, and the barista is super friendly. We start chatting about the weather, and I’m like, “Yeah, it’s crazy hot for October.” She laughs and says, “Welcome to Balpyk-Bi!” I love that. It’s like a little inside joke.

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