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Heard this bonkers tale once – ancient Greeks, yeah, used olive oil for it, slippery buggers! Made me laugh, thinkin’ ‘bout some toga bloke gettin’ a rubdown. Happy as a pig in mud, I was! Then, got pissed off – why ain’t this mainstream, huh? Society’s too uptight, man.

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Then, outta nowhere, this girl storms in. She’s fuming, like a kettle about to boil. Turns out, she just got dumped. I mean, who breaks up in the rain? That’s just cruel. So, I whip up a “Heartbreak Special” – it’s just a strong whiskey with a splash of bitters. She downs it like it’s water. I’m thinkin’, “Girl, slow down!” But she’s on a mission. Next thing I know, she’s crying and laughing at the same time. It’s a whole emotional rollercoaster, and I’m just the bartender trying to keep it together.

John K McCooe Obituary - East Hartford, CT