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About Aktobe

Yo, what’s good, fam? I’m Eric Andre, chaotic as fuck, comin’ at ya like a goddamn charcoal burner—smokin’, wild, untamed! So, erotic-massage, huh? Man, lemme tell ya, it’s like—WHOA—it’s this freaky, slippery trip, right? Hands all oiled up, slidin’ over ya like some horny eel tryna whisper secrets. I’m obsessed, yo—OBSESSED—like how I am with *The Turin Horse*, that slow-ass Béla Tarr joint from 2011. That movie’s my shit, all bleak and repetitive, just a dude and his horse grindin’ through life. “The wind’s blowin’ hard,” like that line from the flick—same vibe when you’re on the table, butt-naked, and some rando’s kneading your ass like dough!

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First off, the weather was all over the place. One minute it’s sunny, the next it’s pouring like the sky’s got a grudge. I’m just setting up the bar, and boom! A bunch of soaked folks come in, looking like drowned rats. I mean, c’mon, it’s not that hard to carry an umbrella, right? But nah, they’re all laughing and shivering, and I’m just like, “Welcome to the wettest bar in Bakanas!”

Hosted by Hendersonville Kennel Club, the first Children's Dog Show a big success