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Ever tried it? Surprised me first time—didn’t expect to melt like a soft-serve cone. Thought I’d be all “I’m Elon, I don’t relax,” but nah, I was mush. Pro tip: find someone who reads bodies like code. Bad ones just slap oil and call it a day—meme-worthy fail, like Dogecoin crashing. Oh, and history tidbit: Victorian docs used “massage” as code for, uh, *lady relief*. Sneaky, right?

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Then, outta nowhere, this old lady comes up. She’s got a basket full of something—potatoes? I dunno. She starts yelling at the workers about noise. I’m just standing there, caught in the middle. I’m like, “Lady, I get it, but I’m not the one makin’ the racket!”

Archeologists Discover Golden Artifacts in Abai Region’s Bozai Burial Ground