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Still, gotta say, it’s a freakin’ art—those hands know tricks, pressure points ya didn’t even know ya had! Like, there’s this spot near yer spine—bam, instant tingles! Little-known secret: some pros train years, not just randos off the street. I’m sweatin’, thinkin’, “Marge’d flip!” but also, “Mmm… donuts, this beats Flanders’ sermons!” Sarcasm time: yeah, totally “therapeutic,” if therapy’s code for goosebumps and awkward boners—D’oh!

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After the bazaar, I decide to stroll down to the river. The Irtysh River is stunning at sunset. I sit on a bench, just chilling. I pull out my phone, scrolling through pics. I see one of my dog, Max. He’s a fluffball, and I miss him. I’m like, “Dude, you’d love this view!”