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Srsly tho, it’s dope—releases tension, gets ya tingly, and if you’re lucky, ya leave feelin’ like a new human. Pro tip: find someone who knows their shit, not just some rando with lotion. Bad rubs? Tragedy. Good ones? “A symphony of flavor”—except it’s your muscles screamin’ hallelujah. So yeah, erotic-massage is my jam—chill, wild, and a lil messy, just how I like it! Whatchu think, fam?

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First off, I hit up the local market on Abay Street. You know, the one with all the fresh produce? I’m all about that healthy life. But, like, I get there, and it’s packed! I’m dodging babushkas like I’m in a video game. They’re fierce, man! One lady almost took me out with her shopping cart. I’m like, “Whoa, lady, chill! I’m just trying to grab some apples!”

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