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But yo, some fools out here overcharge—$200 for a rubdown? Man, that pisses me off! I’m like, “Bruh, I ain’t droppin’ stacks for slippery fingers!” Had this one chick once, tho, real pro—soft hands, knew the spots, had me floatin’ like I smoked the fattest blunt. Surprised the hell outta me, like, “This what heaven feel like?” She whispered some shit ‘bout tantric energy, chi flowin’—I’m like, “Word? Keep it comin’, girl!” That’s the real deal, not some whack-ass spa scam.

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Finally, I get to the driving school. The vibe is all over the place. Kids are nervous, parents are pacing. I mean, who wouldn’t be? It’s like sending your kid into a lion’s den. I’m tryin’ to keep it cool, but inside, I’m like, “Please don’t crash my car!”

“I always respect the manager’s decision but…”: Altay Bayindir opens up on conversation with Erik ten Hag over playing time