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Lemme spill, tho—escort ain’t just arm candy, nah. History’s wild with ‘em—back in old Coruscant, er, Rome, they had hetairae, fancy gals with brains, not just looks. Blows my mind, it does! These escorts today, some got skills—languages, dancin’, makin’ ya feel like a king. Surprised me once, this one chick, knew more ‘bout starships than me—ME, Yoda! Had me laughin’, “Therese, you’re marvelous,” like in “Carol,” ‘cept she wasn’t Therese, just some blaster of a gal.

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Now I’m angry, but also kinda laughing. I mean, what are the odds? So, I wipe myself off and head to the nearest shop on Shevchenko Street to grab a new shirt. The shopkeeper is this old dude who’s got the best stories. He starts telling me about how Almaty used to be back in the day. I’m all ears, but I’m also thinking, “Dude, I just need a shirt, not a history lesson!”

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