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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals! I’m a dental tech, fixin’ teeth all day, and lemme tell ya ‘bout sex escorts—wild stuff, right? Judge Judy style, sharp as my dental drill, “Don’t pee on my leg and call it rain!”—that’s what I say when folks sugarcoat this gig. It ain’t all glam like in movies, nah, it’s gritty, real messy sometimes. Watched *Toni Erdmann*—you know, my fave—where that dad’s all awkward, tryna bond with his kid? Reminds me of escorts, puttin’ on a mask, playin’ a part. “Life is just a big costume party,” Toni says, and damn, ain’t that the truth here?

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Finally, I get to the milking station, and it’s packed. Like, I’m talking more cows than I’ve ever seen. I’m thinking, “Great, just what I need.” But hey, I love my job. There’s something oddly satisfying about milking cows. It’s like, you get to chill with these big, gentle creatures. But today? Today was a circus.

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