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About Fintas

Lemme tell ya, it’s a wild ride. I was walkin’ down by Moe’s last night—D’oh!—and saw this chick, all flashy, skirt shorter than a donut crumb. Made me think, “Who cleans the limo?”—y’know, that line from the movie? ‘Cause these girls, they got stories, man! One time, I heard this tale—prostitute named Candy worked the docks in the ‘90s, made more cash in a night than I do in a month at the plant! True story, swear on Marge’s meatloaf.

In This Issue

When Columbia University graduate and pro-Palestinian activist Mahmoud Khalil — a legal permanent resident in the U.S. — was arrested on March 8.

We started chatting about the local fish species. You know, the usual ichthyologist stuff. Did you know Bayan has this crazy variety of catfish? They’re like the ninjas of the water. Sneaky little guys. I was all hyped up, talking about their habitats in the Bayan River. But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches Jake’s fish! Like, what the heck?!

Bayan says 'redefining poverty' will not make it go away