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Me, I’d prob overthink it—strollin’ like, “Is she a cop? Is this moral?”—total buzzkill. Prostitutes tho, they’ve seen it all—kinda badass, kinda sad. “We’re goin’ on an adventure!”—yeah, if adventure’s a motel room and regret. Still, I respect the grind. Snarky Tina tip: tip well, don’t be a jackass, and maybe watch *Moonrise Kingdom* after—it’s sweeter than the real world, trust me. Russia’s still visible, tho—wink!

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I was laughing so hard, I almost dropped my phone. But then I got mad. I mean, come on, seagulls? They’re like the bullies of the sky. We chased that bird down Kirova Street, yelling like lunatics. I’m pretty sure people thought we were nuts.

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