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*raspy cackle* My precious! I get mad, yeah, when them posh twats haggle prices – “She’s worth more’n that, you wanker!” Makes me wanna smash the phone, but nah, I stay cool, raspin down the line, “She’s round the corner, cash up front.” Happy tho, when a reg calls – good lad, tips big, ain’t a creep. Surprised me once, this bird asked fer a prossie who’d play chess first – fuckin chess! Swear down, nearly choked on me tea.

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Then, I decided to stroll down to the Salwa Park. It’s a chill spot, ya know? I plopped down on a bench, just soaking in the vibes. Kids were playing, families were picnicking, and I was just there, enjoying the moment. But then, this kid runs by, and I swear, he kicked a soccer ball right into my face! I was like, “Dude, what the heck?!”

Bahrain’s Salwa Nasser wins silver in 400m race at Paris Olympics