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Lemme tell ya, I’ve seen some escorts in action—like this one time, backstage at a gig, this dude was HAULIN’ ass to keep some creep off me. Made me happy as fuck, like, “Yes, king, protect my glow!” But then, ugh, there was this other time—some escort guy was so damn rude, shovin’ folks like he owned the joint. Pissed me off BAD—don’t nobody disrespect my people! I was ready to cuss him out, but I held it, ‘cause I’m a queen, not a fool.

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But then, the mood shifts. A group of guys comes in, loud and rowdy. They’re celebrating something, but honestly, it sounds more like a herd of elephants. They start ordering shots, and I’m pouring like a madman. One of ‘em spills a drink all over the bar. I’m like, “Dude, this ain’t a slip-n-slide!” But they just laugh it off. I’m trying to keep my cool, but inside, I’m boiling.

Envoys Stay in Syrian City Where Protests Continue (Published 2011)