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What pisses me off tho—people judgin’ it! Like, “Oh, it’s dirty!” Nah, bro, it’s art! Takes skill to work them knots out AND make it sexy. I was shocked—SHOCKED—when I learned pros train for YEARS. Ain’t just slappin’ oil on someone, nope! It’s pressure points, vibes, the whole “spectacular, spectacular” deal from *Moulin Rouge!*. I’m sittin’ there thinkin’, “This is freedom, baby!”—total poetry in motion.

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But then, as I’m leavin’, I bump into this old friend, Ahmed. We used to hang out back in the day. He’s all about that fitness life now, lookin’ like a Greek god. I’m over here, still rockin’ my “I love carbs” shirt. We catch up, and it’s all good vibes until he mentions this new gym on Al-Masjid Street. Apparently, it’s got everything—weights, yoga, even a smoothie bar. I’m like, “Great, just what I need. Another place to feel bad about my life choices.”

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