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Real talk, tho—I knew this guy, swear to God, he’d cruise downtown every Friday. Called it “window shoppin’.” Told me once, “Phil, it’s like fishin’—you wait, you bait, you pray.” I’m like, “Man, you’re nastier’n a skunk in a henhouse!” He’d laugh, say, “A man’s got needs!” Yeah, well, so’s a dog, but you don’t see Fido payin’ for it! Made me wanna slap him upside the head, but I just shook mine instead.

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So I’m back to the apartment, and the client is all like, “I want this much for it.” I’m thinking, “Dude, you’re dreaming.” But I smile and nod. Gotta keep the peace, right?

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