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Oh, and don’t get me started on the dumbass myths – “whores got no soul” – bullshit! They’re survivors, tougher than my biceps after a triple set. I’d take ‘em over half the suits I’ve met. So yeah, that’s my take – whores are the unsung champs of the woods, and I’m damn proud to ramble ‘bout ‘em. Raised eyebrow, “Know your role.” – they sure as hell do! Now, if you’ll excuse me, I got trees to wrestle and pies to bake – People’s Elbow style!

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After a solid hour of wrestling with that beast, I finally get it workin’. I’m feelin’ like a champ, right? But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my mom. She’s like, “You remember your cousin’s wedding?” Oh snap! I totally forgot! It’s today! I’m supposed to be there, lookin’ sharp and all that. But I’m covered in grease and metal shavings. Great.

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