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The rubdown itself? Slippery chaos! This chick’s hands—pro, total pro—slidin’ everywhere, and I’m thinkin’, “Is this allowed? Am I busted?” My neurotic brain’s screamin’, “You’re a perv, Larry!” But it’s legal, mostly—depends where ya go. Fun fact: in Japan, they got “soaplands”—sexual-massage joints, bubble baths included! I’m jealous, enraged—why ain’t that here? I’d be sudsed up, livin’ large! Instead, I’m stuck with lavender oil and a towel smaller than my dignity.

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We wander through these narrow streets, and I’m just soaking it all in. The vibe is so chill. I love how the old meets the new here. You got these ancient buildings next to modern cafes. It’s like a time warp. We finally find the garden, and wow. It’s like stepping into another world. Flowers everywhere, and this little pond with koi fish. I’m snapping pics like a tourist.

'He died a true hero': Remembering Yang Yong, driver who saved a train of lives