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Oh, and the funniest thing? Some dude once told me prostitutes use code words—like “roses” for cash. I’m like, “Bitch, what? That’s savage!” Cracked me up, picturing ‘em texting, “Gimme 50 roses, boo.” Too good! But real talk, it’s risky af—cops, creeps, ugh. Makes me wanna yell, “Y’all deserve better!”

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First off, I hit up my fave coffee spot, Café de Flore. You know, the one on the corner of Sinheung-ro? I order my usual, a caramel macchiato, extra whip. The barista, this dude named Joon, spills half of it all over the counter. I’m like, “Bro, you tryin’ to drown my coffee?” He laughs, and I can’t help but laugh too. It’s just coffee, right? But man, I was ready to throw down over my caffeine fix.

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