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But seriouslah, it’s risky, y’all. STDs, cops, creepy pimps — I’m yellin’, “Get outta my face, losers!” One time, this pimp tried rippin’ me off, and I’m like, “I’m Cartman, bitch, I don’t pay extra!” Kicked his ass — well, in my head I did. Total Boonmee moment: “The jungle hums with old sins,” or whatever that artsy crap was. Point is, ya gotta watch yer back!

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Then, I spot this guy pacing around. He’s got that frantic look, you know? Turns out, he’s the owner. I approach him, and he’s all, “I don’t know what happened! I just left for a bit!” Yeah, right. I mean, who leaves their warehouse unattended? I’m not buying it. My gut’s telling me there’s more to this story.