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Funniest bit? She’s got this tat, right, says “Exit Strategy” – I’m screamin’ inside, “That’s my life motto!” Pure Brent gold, that. Anyway, I leg it, cos I ain’t payin’ for no “bespoke companionship.” I’m thinkin’, “Certified Copy, mate – it’s all mirrors and smoke.” Reckon I’ll stick to stylin’ shirts, not shady deals. What a night, eh? Absolute madness!

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After what felt like an eternity, I finally got the bull back. The crowd cheered, and I felt like a hero. But then, I tripped on a loose cobblestone on the way back. Classic Kurye, right? I fell flat on my face. The crowd went silent for a sec, then erupted in laughter. I just laid there, thinkin’, “This is my life now.”

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