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Alright, mate, gather round! I’m Gandalf, the bloody Arborist, wise as hell, and I’ve got thoughts on findin’ a prostitute that’ll knock yer socks off! “You shall not pass!”—not til I’ve spilled me guts on this. Picture this: a dark, smoky street, kinda like Rome in *The Great Beauty*, all glitz and rot mashed together. Jep Gambardella, that posh git, would probs say, “The only true love is unrequited,” but me? I’m here for the gritty truth about hookers, not some arty wank.

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I duck into a nearby café on Gwangmyeong-ro. It’s cozy, and I’m just trying to dry off. I order a hot chocolate, and the barista is super nice. We start chatting about the weather, and I’m like, “Yeah, it’s a real mood killer.” But she laughs, and it’s kinda nice.

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