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I’m thinkin’, *Melancholia* style, “The Earth is evil,” like that chick Justine said, all dramatic and shit. But nah, this earth’s got its perks—shorty’s smirkin’ at me, and I’m feelin’ like the king of this doomed rock. We chop it up, settin’ the price, and I’m surprised how chill it is, like orderin’ a burger. “How much, fam?” She’s like, “Hundo, big dawg.” Done deal, fo’ shizzle.

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So, I’m chowing down on some kimbap, right? And this dude next to me starts talking about how he caught a giant catfish in the river. I’m like, “Dude, that’s awesome!” But then he goes on about how he didn’t even know what to do with it. Like, come on, man! You catch a monster fish and just let it go? I was low-key fuming.

Gumi, home to Nongshim’s largest factory, rebrands itself as ‘city of ramyeon’