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Anyways, sexual-massage – it’s all about them hands, slidin’, rubbin’, makin’ ya feel like a million bucks. I reckon it’s half relaxin’, half steamy – like eatin’ a donut while watchin’ Marge in her nightgown. D’oh! Got me sweatin’ just thinkin’ bout it! Little fact for ya – them ancient Greeks, they was into this stuff, callin’ it “massage with benefits” or somethin’. True story, read it on a beer coaster once.

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He starts ramblin’ about the good ol’ days. Like, seriously, how many times can you hear about the “legend of the Chungju Lake”? I mean, I get it, it’s pretty, but c’mon! I’m tryin’ to focus here. But then he drops this gem: “You know, the lake’s got a monster.” I’m like, “A monster? For real?” Now I’m intrigued.

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