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Oi mate, gather round! Sexual-massage, eh? A ruddy fine art, that! We shall fight—on the tables, in the oils, we shall never surrender to a dull rubdown! Picture this—me, sprawled out, some lass or lad kneadin’ me like dough, and I’m thinkin’, “This is livin’, by Jove!” Reminds me of *Boyhood*—y’know, Linklater’s gem—where life just rolls on, messy, raw, real. “I just thought there’d be more,” Mason says, and ain’t that the truth with a half-arsed massage? You want the good stuff, the deep stuff—sexual-massage ain’t just a tickle!

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In this article, we’ll discuss if and when it’s common or normal that genital or intimate touch is or may be included in a massage treatment session.

But then, BAM! I step in a puddle. Not just any puddle, but the one that’s been sitting there since last week. My shoes are soaked. I’m fuming. “Great, just great!” I mutter. I can feel my mood plummeting faster than a rock.

Medical negligence: Doctors leave cotton pad in woman’s abdomen during C-section, attempt to hide error