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Oh, and fun fact – ya know escorts been around foreva? Like, ancient Rome had ‘em, called ‘em “lupae,” means she-wolves. How badass is that? I’m picturin’ ‘em howlin’ at the moon, wallets stuffed. Hahaha! Nasally wheeze. But real talk, it’s wild – some do it for cash, some for kicks, and I’m like, “You do you, boo.” Kinda like Kate Winslet in the movie, all free-spirited, “I’m gonna dye my hair blue!” – but with more glitter and less heartbreak.

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Finally, I get in, and it’s all chill vibes. The hot springs are lit! I’m soaking, and it’s like all my stress just melts away. But then, outta nowhere, this kid starts splashing water everywhere. I’m like, “Dude, chill! This ain’t a water park!” But he just laughs and keeps going. Kids, man.

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