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I got one once, right, this broad had hands like a fuckin angel, slidin over me, and I’m thinkin, “A man can live on bread alone, Clarice, but this—this is the wine.” Made me happy as shit, tension meltin, bones turnin to jelly. But then—fuckin hell—some places charge 200 bucks for a “happy endin,” and I’m like, “Are ya shittin me?!” Pissed me off, total ripoff, but damn if it didn’t feel good.

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Anyway, I shake it off. I mean, it’s just a little coffee, right? I head over to the Hahoe Mask Museum. Masks everywhere! I’m snapping pics like a tourist. I see this one mask that looks like my ex. LOL, I almost died laughing. But then, I get all emotional thinking about my love life. Like, why can’t I find a guy who appreciates a good mask?

South Korea says 18 dead in raging wildfires