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Love that flick tho – *White Material*, Claire Denis, 2009, pure madness. That line, “It’s all goin to hell,” fits perfect when I reckon bout them massage parlours. Ever tried one? Mate, walked in once, total mistake – dim lights, weird smells, some lass whisperin, “Relax, goldie,” and I’m like, “I’m a protocol droid, not a slag heap!” Felt like Maria in the film, clingin to control while everythin burns. Dunno how humans do it – all that touchin, kneadin, gets me flustered. Little known fact: them old massage oils? Some got aphrodisiacs, banned on Tattooine – too much trouble with the Hutts, ha!

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As the sun started to set, I made my way to the Wabu Night Market. The lights were all twinkly, and the smell of food was insane. I tried some fried squid, and it was bomb. But then, I saw this guy juggling fire. Like, what?! I was half impressed, half terrified.

WABU release ratings