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Once, yeah, I tried it—mate, I was buzzin’! This bird, proper fit, she’s got oils smellin’ like a forest fire’s wet dream. She’s slidin’ hands everywhere, and I’m thinkin’, “This is it, this is the moment!”—straight outta the movie, yeah? But then, she’s like, “Relax, bruv,” and I’m like, “I is relaxed, innit!” Nearly fell off the table, clumsy twat that I am. Laughed me arse off—happy as fuck, tho. Ain’t no one tellin’ me, “You’re late again,” like in the flick—just pure vibes.

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So, I dive into work. Calls, emails, you name it. Then, I get a call from a guy in Gangdong-gu. He’s super chill, but he’s got this wild idea. Wants to insure his pet iguana. I’m like, “Dude, really? An iguana?” But hey, if he’s paying, I’m selling. I mean, who am I to judge?

Effects of orthokeratology lenses on tear film and tarsal glands and control of unilateral myopia in children