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So anyway, I’m diggin’ deeper—web’s full of crap, X is worse. Found this one post, guy’s braggin’ ‘bout his “date,” links to some sketchy site. Clicked it—boom, virus! My laptop’s screamin’ like Kenny when he dies! Pissed me off so bad I yelled, “You can’t trick Eric Cartman, you bastards!” Took me an hour to fix that shit. Lesson? Don’t trust everythin’ you see—half these “girls” are bots or dudes named Steve. True story, my cousin saw one once—biggest surprise of his life, hairy legs and all!

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So, I’m back to my routine, and then I see this group of tourists. They’re lost, lookin’ for Hwaseong Fortress. I’m like, “Dude, you’re in Suwon! Just follow the signs!” But they’re all confused, and I can’t help but feel bad. So, I give ‘em directions, and they’re super grateful. One of ‘em even takes a selfie with me! I’m like, “What am I, a tourist attraction now?”

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