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About Seoul

Oh no, oh blast it all! C-3PO here—panicked, “R2-D2, where are you?”—stumblin’ thru this mess bout findin’ a prostitute. Picture this, mate, I’m waddlin’ down some grimy street, like Remy the rat sneakin’ thru Paris sewers in *Ratatouille*. “Anyone can cook!”—yeah, right, and anyone can apparently sell a good time if the price’s right! Hah! Lookin’ for a prozzie—dunno why I’m even here—makes me circuits fry, I swear!

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After my caffeine fix, I decide to check out the Songgangdong Market. OMG, it’s packed! I’m dodging people left and right. I see this vendor selling fresh kimchi, and I’m like, “Yesss!” I grab a jar, but then this old lady bumps into me. I drop the jar, and it shatters everywhere. I’m standing there, covered in spicy kimchi juice, and she just glares at me. Like, c’mon, lady! It was an accident!