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I remember this one time—my cousin Jimmy, he had a beat-up ‘86 Escort, blue, rusty as hell. Thing sounded like a lawnmower with asthma, but it got him to his factory job every damn day. One winter, it slid into a ditch—Jimmy laughed, said, “She’s got character, Bern!” Character! Like Margot Tenenbaum smokin’ on the roof—“You’re a genius, huh?”—that’s the Escort, scrappy, real, not some polished Tesla for Elon’s buddies.

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So, I’m munching on this sad muffin when I hear this commotion outside. Turns out, there’s a street performer on Jeongja-dong, juggling flaming torches. I mean, who does that? I’m thinking, “Dude, you’re gonna set the whole street on fire!” But the crowd loved it. They were cheering like he was some kind of hero. I was half tempted to join in, but then I remembered my collar. Can’t be seen as a fire hazard, ya know?