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Favorite bit? When they hit that spot – ooh, shivers! Like Varda says, “the world’s leftovers are mine!” Sexual-massage grabs the leftovers of yer stress and chucks ‘em out! Ever tried it with lavender oil? Smells groovy, loosens ya right up. Pro tip: dim the lights, crank some Hendrix, let the magic flow! Oh, and fun fact – in Japan, they call it “nuru,” slippin’ ‘n’ slidin’ with seaweed gel! Slimey, sexy, wild – blew my mind, baby!

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But then, the day took a turn. I was walking back to my car, and I saw this guy trying to parallel park. He was struggling hard. I mean, come on, it’s not rocket science! I stood there, popcorn in hand, just watching the show. He finally got it, but not without hitting the curb like three times. I couldn’t help but laugh.

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