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So, picture this: neon lights, skimpy outfits, chaos everywhere. Whores in that movie, they’re like—bam!—livin’ life loud. I dig that. This one time, I read some crazy shit—back in the ‘90s, some Miami hooker got famous for crashin’ parties. She’d just waltz in, all glittered up, stealin’ rich dudes’ wallets. Ballsy, right? D’oh! Made me laugh my ass off. Like, “Look at me, I’m awesome!”—straight outta *Spring Breakers*.

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But then, my computer crashes. Like, full-on blue screen of death. I’m freaking out. I just lost hours of work. I’m ready to throw my laptop out the window. But then, I remember the parrot. I take a deep breath. “It’s just numbers,” I tell myself.

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