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About Gwangju

So, picture this—I’m in some shady joint, right? Dim lights, smells like lavender and sin. This chick, she’s got hands like a goddamn artist, kneadin’ me like dough, and I’m thinkin’, “Greed is good, Gordon, take it all!” It’s not just rubbin’—it’s a fuckin’ ritual, ancient as hell. Did ya know? Back in the day, Chinese emperors got this shit to “balance their chi”? Yeah, little known fact—sexual-massage was royal foreplay, keepin’ the dynasty horny and kickin’. Surprised me, blew my mind, made me wanna high-five history.

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After a while, I finally spot some fish. They’re beautiful, swimming around like they own the place. I’m all excited, taking notes, and then—bam!—one of those kids runs right into me. My notes go flying, and I’m like, “Noooo!” It was like slow motion. I could see my precious data fluttering away.

China plans to build a giant rail gun to launch hypersonic planes into space