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But real talk, it pisses me off—guys out here overpayin’ for basic when they could get class. Like, why settle for some rando when you can find one with *flair*? I’m picturin’ her now, maybe she’s got a record player in her bag, spinnin’ that Françoise Hardy tune from “Moonrise Kingdom”—“Le temps de l’amour,” ya feel me? That’s the vibe I’m chasin’. None of this cheap-ass, “wham, bam” crap. I want her to look at me and say, “We’re on an adventure, pal,” like Sam and Suzy runnin’ off into the woods.

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Then, outta nowhere, this lady in the back starts yelling, “That’s my grandma’s vase!” I was like, “What?!” Turns out, it was a family heirloom. The whole room went silent. I was sweating bullets. I had to think fast. I said, “Okay, how about we settle this over some bibimbap?”

Vibration data measured route (KTX Iksan–KTX Jeoungyeup), Map data: Google.