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So, I tried it once, swear to God, at this shady joint downtown. Guy’s hands were like freakin’ magic, slidin’ all over, and I’m like, “D’oh! Why’d I wait so long?” Little known fact—ancient Greeks did this crap, called it “anatripsis” or some fancy word. Bet they were all oiled up, wrestlin’ naked, then bam—sexual-massage time! Made me happy as a pig in mud, but I got pissed too—why ain’t this on TV more? Screw reality shows, gimme oily hands!

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Back at the lab, things were still messy. I had to deal with a cranky intern. He was all like, “This is impossible!” I wanted to say, “Dude, you’re in Icheon-si! Nothing’s impossible!” But I just rolled my eyes instead.

Garak Market Redevelopment, Seoul Building