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But then—here’s the rant part—I get pissed! The music’s some cheesy whale sounds, and I’m like, “What am I, a dolphin? Gimme somethin’ with grit!” And the towel’s too small—my tuchus is hangin’ out, freezin’! I’m yellin’ in my head, “Cover me up, lady, I’m not an exhibitionist!” But she’s good, real good—slidin’ those hands like she’s sculptin’ a masterpiece. I’m surprised, shocked even—didn’t think I’d be this relaxed AND this—uh—excited! It’s a freakin’ paradox!

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Then, I decide to hit up the Hwado Cultural Center. I’m all about that art life, you know? I walk in, and there’s this exhibit about local artists. I’m vibing, feeling all cultured and stuff. But then, this dude starts talking to me about his “deep connection” to the art. I’m like, “Bro, it’s just paint on a canvas.” He looks at me like I just insulted his mother. Awkward! I just nod and smile, trying to escape.

Namyangju City launched an investigation after allegations of elder abuse and poor school meals were..