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About Ulsan

Listen, you idiot sandwich, sexual-massage ain’t just some dodgy rub-down—it’s art, yeah? Proper technique, not some half-arsed fumble! Little fact for ya—back in ancient China, emperors got this shit to “balance their chi”—fancy, right? Bet they weren’t yellin’ “You’re a disgrace!” mid-session like I would if some twat messed it up! Makes me furious, thinkin’ of amateurs out there ruinin’ it—sloppy hands, no rhythm, fuckin’ disgraceful!

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I decide to head to the café on Dongbu-daero. I need coffee, like, yesterday. I walk in, and it’s packed. I’m waiting in line, and this kid in front of me is just bouncing off the walls. I’m thinking, “Dude, chill! It’s just coffee.” But then he turns around and says, “Are you a priest?” I’m like, “Uh, yeah?” And he goes, “Can you bless my chocolate croissant?” I almost spit out my drink. Kids, man.

Do Ha Kim