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Now, don’t get it twisted—I ain’t sayin’ it’s all roses. Some these johns? Nasty as a hog pen! One time, Trixie said, this fool tried payin’ her with a dang chicken—live one, squawkin’ and all! She was like, “What I’ma do with feathers, fool?” I bout died laughin’—picturin’ her chasin’ that bird down the block! Chile, you can’t make this mess up!

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But then, I see this group of tourists. They’re lost, lookin’ at their maps like they’re from another planet. I can’t help it. I walk over and say, “Hey, you guys need a GPS or somethin’?” They laugh, and I end up givin’ them directions to Nami Island. I mean, who doesn’t love Nami?

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