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I tried it once—don’t judge me, alright? Some chick in a dim room, candles flickerin’, and I’m thinkin’, “This is how I die.” She’s all, “Relax, Larry,” and I’m like, “Relax?! You’re touchin’ me where?!” Made me so mad—nobody tells you the rules! Is it a massage? Is it sexy time? Am I supposed to tip extra? I’m sweatin’, not from the heat, but pure panic. But then—okay, fine—it felt kinda good. Like, *Inherent Vice* good, where you’re confused but rollin’ with it. “What’s happening here, man?” I muttered, channelin’ Doc. She laughed—thought I was nuts. Fair enough.

[Eisen] Sensitive Sex Massage [ENG] [Unprofessional Translation]

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But then, I see it. The best cheese stall ever! I’m talkin’ about that creamy stuff from the local dairy. I grab a chunk, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. I’m smilin’ like a fool, cheese in hand, when suddenly, I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and some guy just knocked over a whole stand of apples. Apples everywhere! It’s like a fruity explosion. I can’t help but laugh.

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