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Alright, motherfucker, let’s dive into this shit—erotic-massage, man! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout it, and hell yeah, it’s like that scene in *Finding Nemo* when Dory’s all, “Just keep swimmin’!” ‘Cept here it’s more like, “Just keep rubbin’, motherfucker!” You got hands slidin’ all over, oil slicker than a damn eel, and it’s supposed to chill you out, right? Fuckin’ A, it does—sometimes! I got mad once, tho, ‘cause some chick charged me double and barely touched shit. I was like, “Bitch, where’s the happy endin’?” Straight up robbed me, man, pissed me off!

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Then, outta nowhere, it started pouring. Like, monsoon-level rain. I ducked into a random shop on the corner of Seongdang-dong. Turns out, it was a cute little boutique. I ended up trying on some ridiculous outfits. One was a neon green jumpsuit. I looked like a walking highlighter. But hey, I rocked it!

Three people seriously hurt in South Korea high-school stabbing, Yonhap reports